For Now It Is Very Sad but We Will Meet Again Kim Jonghyun
Catherine Chung (The Korea Herald/Asia News Network)
● Tue, December nineteen, 2017
Dear Cloud's singer Nine9 revealed the late Jonghyun's painful suicide notation on his Instagram on Tuesday.
Following is the unofficial English translation of Jonghyun's suicide note in Korean.
Read also: SHINee fellow member's death ruled suicide, no autopsy
---------------------------------------------------
I was broken from the inside.
The depression slowly chipped me away, finally devouring me.
I could not beat the negativity.
I hated myself. Even though I tried so hard demanding my memories that kept getting cut off to 'wake up,' all I got in render was silence.
I'd rather stop if I cannot breathe.
I asked who could be responsible for me.
You're the merely one.
I felt utterly alone.
It is easy to say "I'm going to finish it."
It is very difficult to really go through with it.
I've been struggling through the difficulty.
I told myself that it's just me wanting to run abroad from everything.
It's true. I really did desire to run abroad.
From me.
From you.
I asked, "Who's at that place?" It's me. It's me over again. And it's me the third fourth dimension.
I asked, "Why do I go on on losing my memory?" They said it's due to my personality. I meet. Information technology's all my error.
I wanted someone to notice (my suffering), but no one knew. Of course, they wouldn't. They never met me before.
I asked why people live. Just. Just. They live "just because."
If I ask why people died, they would probably say they couldn't carry it whatever longer.
Troubling thoughts flooded my head. I never got the chance to learn how to change irksome pain into pure joy.
Pain is but hurting.
I kept reprimanding myself not to do and so.
Why? Why tin can't I fifty-fifty terminate my life with my ain will?
I tried figuring out the reasons for my pain and suffering.
I already had the answer. I was in hurting because of me. It'south all my error that I comport and so many imperfections.
Instructor, is this what y'all wanted to hear?
No. I didn't do anything incorrect.
I used to recollect that it's then easy for doctors to blame your personality for the suffering in their calm voice.
It surprises me how I am feeling this much hurting. Those people, who have suffered worse than I, seem to get on living perfectly fine. Those weaker than I am live on as well. I guess not. Amidst the living, in that location is no one who is suffering worse and no one who is weaker.
The only answer I got back was "just live withal."
Asking the purpose of life more than one hundred times is not for me. Information technology's for yous.
I wanted to exercise information technology for me.
Please don't say things you lot don't know.
How could you ask me to still look for reasons behind my pain? I told you multiple times why I'm suffering. Do I demand more reasons to be in pain? More than dramatic details in my stories? More stories even?
I told you already. Were you lot absent-minded when I told you? Things you tin bear and even come above do not get out scars.
It wasn't my responsibleness to go against the earth.
It wasn't my path to become world-famous.
That's why they say it's hard to go against the globe and to become famous. Why did I choose this path? Information technology's quite funny now that I think nigh it.
It's a phenomenon that I endured through information technology all this time.
What more can I say. Just tell me "good chore."
You lot did great. Tell me I suffered enough.
Even though you tin can't laugh right now, just don't ship me off blaming me.
Skillful chore.
Y'all suffered a great deal.
Good-bye.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Translated by Catherine Chung
This article appeared on The Korea Herald newspaper website, which is a member of Asia News Network and a media partner of The Dki jakarta Post
Source: http://www.thejakartapost.com/life/2017/12/19/the-full-text-of-jonghyuns-death-note.html
0 Response to "For Now It Is Very Sad but We Will Meet Again Kim Jonghyun"
Post a Comment